I Still Can't Fit!

Ugh – wasn’t able to exercise to speak of last night.

The boy (middle child) had a school sporting event that didn’t end until 9:00 so I didn’t get home until 9:30 last night. I had the forethought to grab an apple to munch on while at the event so that kept me from diving head first into the hotdogs, nachos, chili-cheese Frito pie and other crap they sell at the event but I did splurge on a bottle of water **insert grin here as I’m being sarcastic**.

By the time we finally got home I was both exhausted and starving. Everything and I mean everything in the fridge and cupboard looked absolutely wonderful but I decided that since I hadn’t exercised that I was sticking to my “I Don’t Want to be Fat Anymore” diet. I looked through the fridge and here is what I threw together:

3 scallops
½ cup broccoli floweret’s
½ can garbanzo beans, rinsed
5 cherry tomatoes, sliced in half
1 fennel bulb, thinly sliced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
Juice of ½ a lemon
Small drizzle of olive oil.

Turn the oven on to 350º. Arrange the fennel slices on the bottom of a large piece of parchment paper. Sprinkle the broccoli, garbanzo beans and cherry tomato halves on top of the fennel. Drizzle with olive oil (about 1 teaspoon). Arrange the 3 scallops on top of that. Scatter the chopped garlic and squeeze on the lemon juice. Sprinkle the whole concoction with Old Bay Seasoning (or the seasoning of choice). Put another piece of parchment paper on top and fold the sides – sealing the whole thing. I let it bake in the 350º oven for about 15 minutes. Using lemon juice keeps me from grabbing the salt shaker.

It was very tasty, very filling, hit the spot, insert whatever other clichés you want here, low-fat, high fiber and I’m sorry that I don’t know how many WW points this is for those who are on WW.

Then this morning I had a discussion with the Mr. about the dinner date at PF Chang’s this weekend and we discussed why I didn’t really want to go and how much pressure I was feeling about the whole situation. He said that we didn’t have to go if I didn’t want to and that he would call and say that HE didn’t want to go instead of putting the blame on me. He also said that he didn’t care how much I weighed and that he loves me if I wore a size 5 or a size 14 that my weight didn’t have anything to do with the way he felt about me. The only reason he was encouraging me in all of this is because he wants me to be healthy so that I can be around a long time.

I realized that the pressure was what I was putting on myself and those women had seen me fat for a while. It shouldn’t matter what they think but it does. I know that 8.5 pounds lost is nothing to scoff at and if I can stay on track and focus on the day to day stuff instead of trying to focus on what is going to happen next week or next month I can stay on target. Taking it one day at a time is what I’m trying to do and I’m trying NOT to worry about it.

I decided to go to the dinner date since I already scoped out PF Chang’s menu (don’t you just love the World Wide Web?) and have found 3 or 4 things I can eat and still stay within my 1200 calorie daily limit. Instead of focusing on how much I can lose by Saturday I will focus on what I’m doing today and look forward to this summer when we all get together and go out on the lake and I can finally hold my own in a swimsuit. Well, not that I really want something to hold but that I don’t have to feel like the beached whale around all the other babes on the boat.

By my calculations, if I lose 1 ½ pounds a week I can be fit and down to my goal weight (140) by July 20, 2006.