I quit my job yesterday.
Yep - you read that right. After being with this company for almost 14 years I got offered a job with another company so I resigned. Friday, March 3rd is my last day here and I have mixed emotions about it.
Food wise – well I don’t really know what to say as I haven’t been eating right but then again I have had a sinus infection for a week now so I haven’t really been eating. Sinus medication really kills the appetite – either that or all the snot dripping down into my stomach is making me feel full. I haven’t exercised a lick but I also haven’t gained or lost any poundage.
The next 2 weeks will be rather full as I’m training people how to use one of our systems and also trying to document everything I do in detail for whichever poor soul gets this job after me.
The good news is that the new company I’m going to work for pays for their employee’s gym membership and the gym is right across the street from the building so I should be able to clock in 2 miles during my lunch hour – and I actually get an hour for lunch to do so. I’m really looking forward to adding exercise as a routine into my lunch hour and this woman is all about routines.
I hope everyone here is doing well and I will be stopping by to check in on ya’ll.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Struck down by sickness
Quick update as I’ve been fighting an upper respiratory infection for about 5 days now so haven’t exercised since Saturday. Food intake has been ok – I guess – I haven’t been tracking my food but then again I really haven’t been eating. The sinuses draining into my stomach really curbs the appetite doesn’t it?
The Mister got me some chocolates for Valentines Day. It is ok because I asked for them but have only had 1 because they just don’t sound good – damn, you know I’m sick when chocolate doesn’t sound good. I’m hoping the kids eat them all up before I start to feel better.
Don’t really feel bad about the lack of exercise because it is all I can do to drag my arse out of bed and get to work. I have a lovely interview tomorrow so I’m trying to introduce whatever medicine I can into my system so that I feel halfway normal tomorrow. Oh, yeah and TOM is due sometime today so I’m really hoping that the sickness combined with pouring medicine into my body cavity will cause TOM to be a day or 2 late. I really don’t want to go on an interview worrying if I’m going to bleed through or not and this is a full day interview so I’m guessing the white pantsuit is definitely out of the question.
Joke there as any good Southern gal knows you can’t wear white before Easter!
I was reading back through my posts and remembered just how good I felt after exercising so I’m going to go ahead and hop on the ole treadmill when I get home tonight and maybe it will help push this nasty stuff out of my system. I might not run all of it but I am going to try to get in my 2 miles – will just listen to my body and take it easy if need be.
Finally – I love red bell peppers and they are high in Vitamin C so I made some rather tasty stuffed red bell peppers and am eating them for lunch today. Here is the recipe:
½ cup barley
4 red bell peppers
4 ounces feta cheese
1 medium apple, chopped
8 green onions, chopped,
½ cup golden raisins
3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
3 tablespoons chopped cilantro
Juice of 1 lemon
Salt & pepper
Cover the barley in boiling water put a lid on it and set it aside for 3 hours or you can follow the directions on the side of the package to cook it faster. Chop bell peppers in half, slicing through stems to help them retain their shape when you bake them and scoop out the insides and seeds. Set bell peppers in a baking dish cut side up. Mix together cooked barley, feta cheese, apple, onions, raisins, basil, cilantro, and lemon juice. Taste mixture and season with salt and pepper if need be. Spoon mixture into bell pepper halves. Pour about 1 cup of water into bottom of pan to keep bell peppers moist and bake in a 350 oven for about 35 minutes. Make sure you cover pan with foil to retain moisture.
These were very tasty and the apple and raisins give it a “sweet” taste.
The Mister got me some chocolates for Valentines Day. It is ok because I asked for them but have only had 1 because they just don’t sound good – damn, you know I’m sick when chocolate doesn’t sound good. I’m hoping the kids eat them all up before I start to feel better.
Don’t really feel bad about the lack of exercise because it is all I can do to drag my arse out of bed and get to work. I have a lovely interview tomorrow so I’m trying to introduce whatever medicine I can into my system so that I feel halfway normal tomorrow. Oh, yeah and TOM is due sometime today so I’m really hoping that the sickness combined with pouring medicine into my body cavity will cause TOM to be a day or 2 late. I really don’t want to go on an interview worrying if I’m going to bleed through or not and this is a full day interview so I’m guessing the white pantsuit is definitely out of the question.
Joke there as any good Southern gal knows you can’t wear white before Easter!
I was reading back through my posts and remembered just how good I felt after exercising so I’m going to go ahead and hop on the ole treadmill when I get home tonight and maybe it will help push this nasty stuff out of my system. I might not run all of it but I am going to try to get in my 2 miles – will just listen to my body and take it easy if need be.
Finally – I love red bell peppers and they are high in Vitamin C so I made some rather tasty stuffed red bell peppers and am eating them for lunch today. Here is the recipe:
½ cup barley
4 red bell peppers
4 ounces feta cheese
1 medium apple, chopped
8 green onions, chopped,
½ cup golden raisins
3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
3 tablespoons chopped cilantro
Juice of 1 lemon
Salt & pepper
Cover the barley in boiling water put a lid on it and set it aside for 3 hours or you can follow the directions on the side of the package to cook it faster. Chop bell peppers in half, slicing through stems to help them retain their shape when you bake them and scoop out the insides and seeds. Set bell peppers in a baking dish cut side up. Mix together cooked barley, feta cheese, apple, onions, raisins, basil, cilantro, and lemon juice. Taste mixture and season with salt and pepper if need be. Spoon mixture into bell pepper halves. Pour about 1 cup of water into bottom of pan to keep bell peppers moist and bake in a 350 oven for about 35 minutes. Make sure you cover pan with foil to retain moisture.
These were very tasty and the apple and raisins give it a “sweet” taste.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Interview
Well - life got in the damn way last night and I didn't hop on the treadmill. I think that I'm going to run 3 miles tonight - partially to makeup the 2 I didn't run last night and partially to punish myself because I could've at 9:30 but didn't. The thing is that I'm just so angry with myself for not going ahead and getting the running out of the way. I'm such a routine person that when something throws my routine off it just feels like I can't recover from it. Maybe I just don’t want to recover from it.
I received a call from a company that wants to interview me next week. I'm both excited and nervous about the whole thing. I've been with my present company for 15 years and the other company cold called me - out of the blue - wanting my resume. I half-assed threw one together and emailed it to them thinking that there was NO way they would want to interview me after that lousy resume crossed their desk.
So far I've had a package of Swiss Cakes at 270 calories and 12 grams of fat - sheesh! I really want to hit the snack machine again even though I have an apple sitting right here on my desk. I haven't decided if this eating binge is due to the nervousness or the excitement I just know that I want to nosh on something. Hmmm – maybe I should just make it an even 4 miles to punish myself for eating the Swiss Cakes.
I received a call from a company that wants to interview me next week. I'm both excited and nervous about the whole thing. I've been with my present company for 15 years and the other company cold called me - out of the blue - wanting my resume. I half-assed threw one together and emailed it to them thinking that there was NO way they would want to interview me after that lousy resume crossed their desk.
So far I've had a package of Swiss Cakes at 270 calories and 12 grams of fat - sheesh! I really want to hit the snack machine again even though I have an apple sitting right here on my desk. I haven't decided if this eating binge is due to the nervousness or the excitement I just know that I want to nosh on something. Hmmm – maybe I should just make it an even 4 miles to punish myself for eating the Swiss Cakes.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Spicy Hot!
I just have to say that the leg lifts that I’ve been doing for about a month now are really starting to pay off. The Mister has been telling me for about a week that he could see a difference and when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning (ewwwww) even I could tell a difference. I’m sure the running helps too but since I have been sporadic with the running and rather consistent with the leg lifts then they deserve the credit for the slimming of the hips. The targeted area is right at the bottom of my hip kinda where my leg joins my torso. You know how you tend to get those “saddle bags” right there????? Huh? You don’t – well I do and they are definitely going away.
I have noticed, just this week, that my dress pants, while fitting in the waist are just hanging in my hip area. Today I put on an olive green, moleskin pant suit and the pants are literally falling off of me. Well, actually the jacket is olive green, trimmed in black and the pants are black with a side zipper. I just bought the damn thing at the beginning of December and this is only the 3rd time that I’ve had it on. I can tell that if I lose 5 more lbs there is no way that I can get by with wearing this to work because I’m pretty sure that the pants will fall down around my ankles when I’m walking down the hallway right in front of a bunch of men!
It is a size 14 but must be on the large size of 14 so when these pants hit the ground, since this suit is so new, I will have it dry cleaned and ship it to anyone out here in cyber land who is brave enough to wear my cast-offs. If there aren’t any takers then someone at Goodwill will be happy as I don’t know anyone my size in my real life.
I did my 2 mile torture run last night for a total of 4 miles so far this week. Been running with the treadmill pace set to 4.5. Kinda freaked out this morning when I realized that I have an appointment at 4:30 today to get waxed and was afraid that it was going to be ANOTHER workout that I might miss this week. Then –DUH – I realized that I could just hop on the treadmill after I get the Princess to sleep. The other good news is that middle son’s Region’s competition is during the day Friday so it looks like I will be able to run, just fine, Friday night. WHEW – the 2 miles is torture enough and I really wasn’t looking forward to having to go 2.5 for 4 days to make up for it.
Lastly I wanted to share a little secret – well, not really a secret but I still wanted to share it. I have been bringing Turkey wraps to work with Turkey, low-fat cheese, no-fat mayonnaise and plenty of lettuce on whole wheat, low-carb tortilla for lunch. The thing is that even though it is probably just me being mental – I can tell a difference in the taste of the no-fat mayonnaise. Since I live in Texas AND we tend to like things a little spicy down here I opened a can of Chipolte peppers in Adobe sauce and added about 1 teaspoon of the sauce to 4 Tablespoons of the fat-free mayonnaise. It adds a nice kick, still gives me the satisfaction of having the creaminess of the mayonnaise on my wrap and hides the no-fat taste for my taste buds. No, I don’t add all 4 Tablespoons to my wrap I just added about 1 but this mixture should last the rest of the week refrigerated.
I have noticed, just this week, that my dress pants, while fitting in the waist are just hanging in my hip area. Today I put on an olive green, moleskin pant suit and the pants are literally falling off of me. Well, actually the jacket is olive green, trimmed in black and the pants are black with a side zipper. I just bought the damn thing at the beginning of December and this is only the 3rd time that I’ve had it on. I can tell that if I lose 5 more lbs there is no way that I can get by with wearing this to work because I’m pretty sure that the pants will fall down around my ankles when I’m walking down the hallway right in front of a bunch of men!
It is a size 14 but must be on the large size of 14 so when these pants hit the ground, since this suit is so new, I will have it dry cleaned and ship it to anyone out here in cyber land who is brave enough to wear my cast-offs. If there aren’t any takers then someone at Goodwill will be happy as I don’t know anyone my size in my real life.
I did my 2 mile torture run last night for a total of 4 miles so far this week. Been running with the treadmill pace set to 4.5. Kinda freaked out this morning when I realized that I have an appointment at 4:30 today to get waxed and was afraid that it was going to be ANOTHER workout that I might miss this week. Then –DUH – I realized that I could just hop on the treadmill after I get the Princess to sleep. The other good news is that middle son’s Region’s competition is during the day Friday so it looks like I will be able to run, just fine, Friday night. WHEW – the 2 miles is torture enough and I really wasn’t looking forward to having to go 2.5 for 4 days to make up for it.
Lastly I wanted to share a little secret – well, not really a secret but I still wanted to share it. I have been bringing Turkey wraps to work with Turkey, low-fat cheese, no-fat mayonnaise and plenty of lettuce on whole wheat, low-carb tortilla for lunch. The thing is that even though it is probably just me being mental – I can tell a difference in the taste of the no-fat mayonnaise. Since I live in Texas AND we tend to like things a little spicy down here I opened a can of Chipolte peppers in Adobe sauce and added about 1 teaspoon of the sauce to 4 Tablespoons of the fat-free mayonnaise. It adds a nice kick, still gives me the satisfaction of having the creaminess of the mayonnaise on my wrap and hides the no-fat taste for my taste buds. No, I don’t add all 4 Tablespoons to my wrap I just added about 1 but this mixture should last the rest of the week refrigerated.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Weigh Me
I’ve decided to stop weighing every damn day and just go to a once a week weigh-in. I’m going to weigh myself on Fridays and was it ever hard to NOT jump on that scale this morning. When I was making the coffee it was mocking me – taunting me to “just step on aboard before you have that sip of coffee”. I tried to ignore it but the voices inside my head kept getting louder and louder so I went over and removed the battery out of the scale and put it in a drawer in another part of the house just to shut it up. Sure hope I can remember where I put it when I go to weigh Friday as I’ve been known to forget where my keys are when they are in my hand.
I did hop on the treadmill last night for a 2 mile run and hated every damn last minute of it. I was bitching and groaning in my mind the whole time but had set it up to run for 2 miles so I did. Then when I hopped off of it I fixed dinner – well actually I threw together my part of it which was the salad and we ate. I vacuumed the house because people were in and out during the Super Bowl party Sunday and “stuff” got tracked into the house. After that I flopped down on the floor to do my leg lifts. My youngest thinks that if you get down on her level that you become her own personal jungle gym so she straddled my waist and wallowed around on me the whole time. Talk about making it difficult to do leg lifts – it was tough with a 25 lb squirming baby riding my waist like I was a pony.
The thing I noticed is that afterwards – after the running – I felt much better and even though I had been tired all day I felt energized. I got to bed late Sunday night and the little one cried out at about 3 am so I got up and rocked her back to sleep and it felt like my head had just hit the pillow when the alarm went off at 5 am. Talk about major draggin ass – I had it major yesterday and just wanted to crawl under my desk and take a nap but figured the boss wouldn’t really like that so I refrained. Figured that I would just go to bed early but after running I felt awake and actually had some energy so I got some stuff done around the house. This just emphasizes to me how important it is that I exercise because even though I’m using up more energy it seems that I have more energy than I do when I don’t exercise.
The only day I might not be able to run is Friday because my middle son has Regions Friday night (after school) and you never know how long they will last. I’m thinking about running 2.5 miles Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday to make up for the 2 miles I might not be able to run Friday. Then if I get home in time and am able to get on the treadmill the extra .5 from Wednesday and Thursday can just be added to the weekly total. I’m trying real hard to plan out this exercise and make it a focus point in my life. I’m also thinking about adding an upper body workout 3 days a week because I have 5, 10 & 20 lb free weights at home. I will just have to use some of that “extra” energy from tonight’s run to lift some weights after the baby goes to sleep as I really don’t want to bonk her in the head with a 5 lb weight.
Oh yeah – the chicken last night was excellent so here is what it was marinated in:
4 chicken breast
4 cups of water
2 Tablespoons Kosher Salt
2 Tablespoons sugar
1 Tablespoon cloves
3 bay leaves
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon celery seeds
4 Clementine’s, cut in half squeeze the juice then just add the juice and the squeezed Clementine to the marinade.
It marinated for about 24 hours and the chicken was very tender and juicy and you could taste the clove and Clementine. The Mister grilled the chicken and some asparagus but I could see reducing the water to 3 cups and then cooking the marinade down on the stove. Maybe adding some cornstarch to thicken it up and serving the chicken over rice with the reduced marinade as a sauce poured over the top sometime in the future.
I did hop on the treadmill last night for a 2 mile run and hated every damn last minute of it. I was bitching and groaning in my mind the whole time but had set it up to run for 2 miles so I did. Then when I hopped off of it I fixed dinner – well actually I threw together my part of it which was the salad and we ate. I vacuumed the house because people were in and out during the Super Bowl party Sunday and “stuff” got tracked into the house. After that I flopped down on the floor to do my leg lifts. My youngest thinks that if you get down on her level that you become her own personal jungle gym so she straddled my waist and wallowed around on me the whole time. Talk about making it difficult to do leg lifts – it was tough with a 25 lb squirming baby riding my waist like I was a pony.
The thing I noticed is that afterwards – after the running – I felt much better and even though I had been tired all day I felt energized. I got to bed late Sunday night and the little one cried out at about 3 am so I got up and rocked her back to sleep and it felt like my head had just hit the pillow when the alarm went off at 5 am. Talk about major draggin ass – I had it major yesterday and just wanted to crawl under my desk and take a nap but figured the boss wouldn’t really like that so I refrained. Figured that I would just go to bed early but after running I felt awake and actually had some energy so I got some stuff done around the house. This just emphasizes to me how important it is that I exercise because even though I’m using up more energy it seems that I have more energy than I do when I don’t exercise.
The only day I might not be able to run is Friday because my middle son has Regions Friday night (after school) and you never know how long they will last. I’m thinking about running 2.5 miles Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday to make up for the 2 miles I might not be able to run Friday. Then if I get home in time and am able to get on the treadmill the extra .5 from Wednesday and Thursday can just be added to the weekly total. I’m trying real hard to plan out this exercise and make it a focus point in my life. I’m also thinking about adding an upper body workout 3 days a week because I have 5, 10 & 20 lb free weights at home. I will just have to use some of that “extra” energy from tonight’s run to lift some weights after the baby goes to sleep as I really don’t want to bonk her in the head with a 5 lb weight.
Oh yeah – the chicken last night was excellent so here is what it was marinated in:
4 chicken breast
4 cups of water
2 Tablespoons Kosher Salt
2 Tablespoons sugar
1 Tablespoon cloves
3 bay leaves
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon celery seeds
4 Clementine’s, cut in half squeeze the juice then just add the juice and the squeezed Clementine to the marinade.
It marinated for about 24 hours and the chicken was very tender and juicy and you could taste the clove and Clementine. The Mister grilled the chicken and some asparagus but I could see reducing the water to 3 cups and then cooking the marinade down on the stove. Maybe adding some cornstarch to thicken it up and serving the chicken over rice with the reduced marinade as a sauce poured over the top sometime in the future.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Come On 180!
Well – I really wanted to see 180 on the scales this morning – but no way.
I didn’t expect to see 180 because we had a Super Bowl party yesterday and there were just too many sneaky snacks and tasty adult beverages. At least I didn’t realize a gain after munching on chips, dip, critters, chicken wings, black olives, guacamole and a beer or three. So in that aspect I guess it definitely could’ve been worse. Plus knowing that 20 friends were coming over I got up early and scrubbed my house from top to bottom – I’m talking q-tips in the corners and wiping down the baseboards kind of clean - four hours worth of clean. The Mister hauled all of the leftover grub to work today to feed his guys for lunch so that will save me from munching on anymore of that food stuff.
The Mister was so sweet and in worrying about my “I Don’t Want To Be Fat Anymore” food plan he marinated some chicken boobies and bought some fresh asparagus to grill for me to eat during the party. He was so proud of his little self when he showed me what he had done so that I could stay on plan. I was rather proud of him too. I decided to just go ahead and indulge yesterday for 3 reasons:
- I have been eating on plan
- I had used low fat ingredients in the dips (shhhhh – don’t tell as no one noticed).
- Didn’t want to be the weird one out munching on grilled chicken boobies and asparagus while everyone else was munching on munchies.
So for tonight’s dinner it will be grilled chicken boobies, roasted asparagus and salad and since everything is ready to go - the plan Stan is to hop on the treadmill when I get home for a 2 mile run. The Mister will fire up the grill when he gets home (30 minutes later) to cook the chicken and asparagus and all I have to do is toss together the salad.
I’ve been mulling over the running aspect and my real need to actually get some exercise into my routine and I’ve decided that I’m going to run 14 miles a week. That will be 2 miles a day and something that is very doable when I consider that “Once Upon A Time” I ran 30+ miles a week and biked 40 miles on Sunday. I know that I can run 2 miles right now because I have done it – what I haven’t done is make it a part of my life – a part of my daily routine like I should. I’m going to keep a log and if I have to miss a day then I will just double up on the other days so that the weekly total still equals 14. I read somewhere that what matters most is how many miles you make your body move and that it didn’t matter as much whether you ran or walked those miles. I really need to get my mind around this whole running thing and make it a necessity – like breathing.
The only **ahem** exercise that I have managed to do every day is 60 leg lifts (each leg). Have been doing them for about 3 weeks now and it is starting to pay off as all of my pants are very loose in the hip area. Last night when I plopped down on the floor to do them – the Mister patted my hip and said that he could tell a difference as he is starting to see muscle – of course he could’ve just wanted to get lucky (hehe). The lifts are getting easier so I’m thinking about adding another set of 20 for a total of 80 or digging through my closet to find the 5lb leg weights and start using them. I think the leg lifts are the reason that I’ve been able to locate my hipbones.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Addictions
I dreamt last night that I was running.
Many years ago, when I worked in another city and before my divorce I ran 5 miles at lunch. I didn’t miss a day and the feeling the running released was much like a drug. I was addicted to running. I guess that really isn’t a bad thing to be addicted to. The marriage was horrible and the man I married turned out to be abusive, both physically and mentally. Running was my release. It was my way of dealing with all the anger that was building up inside of me because I couldn’t lash out at him.
When I left him I stopped running because my lunch hour now needed to be spent making up time missed due to being drug into court 19 times in the 2 years it took to get the divorce finalized. I wasn’t able to run before or after work because I had custody of our 2 small boys and didn’t want to leave them at the house by themselves while I ran.
When I met the current Mister he was the total opposite of the former asshole Mister in both looks and personality. He made it ok for me to be me. When my weight started to climb and other health problems cropped up the current Mister is the one who urged me to seek medical help to figure out what was wrong. Not because he wanted me to lose weight but because the screwy hormones changed my personality and he wanted his wife back - fat or thin it didn’t matter. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and put on medication to give my body the hormones it was no longer capable of creating on its own. Regardless of what they tell you the thyroid hormones won’t fix the weight problem or sluggish metabolism that result from inadequate natural hormones. You have to be active and exercise to fix that.
I have blamed my weight and an assortment of other problems on my thyroid over the years not willing to accept that the blame rested squarely on my shoulders. DUH! Of course you are going to gain weight when you go from running 5 miles a day and chasing 2 little boys around to sitting on the couch munching on chips and dip. I know that exercise is the key for me and that I really need to start exercising to see this weight drop off.
I went to the Doctor last night for the lower abdomen pain and he started me on a round of antibiotics because his initial thought is that it is either a bladder infection or an inflammation of the colon. He did assure me that it had absolutely nothing to do with the green tea that I’ve been drinking and he told me to keep drinking the green tea because it is very good for you. I should’ve exercised last night but used the excuse that I’m sick to not crawl on the treadmill. I also called off work today because it hurts to sit and I’m very uncomfortable at work. I feel like I have a rock in my abdomen.
While lying in bed this morning (right after the running dream) I still had my eyes closed and was remembering the feeling I used to experience – the euphoria from running. So I started clicking back through my memories to when I started running and distinctly remember that when I started I couldn’t even run a mile and hated every minute of it. I didn’t think that I would ever run 5 miles a day and like it. Somehow, without my actually realizing it, I was running every day and even worked it into my schedule when we went on vacation (ever ran through Las Vegas- I have?)
I think that I’m going to actually schedule my treadmill time and allow myself 10 minutes of meditation right before I hop on the treadmill so that I can remember what it felt like, all those years ago, to be addicted to running. This post is mostly so that I can look back at it on those days that I don't feel like running and remind myself that if I keep it up some day I will be addicted to running again.
Many years ago, when I worked in another city and before my divorce I ran 5 miles at lunch. I didn’t miss a day and the feeling the running released was much like a drug. I was addicted to running. I guess that really isn’t a bad thing to be addicted to. The marriage was horrible and the man I married turned out to be abusive, both physically and mentally. Running was my release. It was my way of dealing with all the anger that was building up inside of me because I couldn’t lash out at him.
When I left him I stopped running because my lunch hour now needed to be spent making up time missed due to being drug into court 19 times in the 2 years it took to get the divorce finalized. I wasn’t able to run before or after work because I had custody of our 2 small boys and didn’t want to leave them at the house by themselves while I ran.
When I met the current Mister he was the total opposite of the former asshole Mister in both looks and personality. He made it ok for me to be me. When my weight started to climb and other health problems cropped up the current Mister is the one who urged me to seek medical help to figure out what was wrong. Not because he wanted me to lose weight but because the screwy hormones changed my personality and he wanted his wife back - fat or thin it didn’t matter. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and put on medication to give my body the hormones it was no longer capable of creating on its own. Regardless of what they tell you the thyroid hormones won’t fix the weight problem or sluggish metabolism that result from inadequate natural hormones. You have to be active and exercise to fix that.
I have blamed my weight and an assortment of other problems on my thyroid over the years not willing to accept that the blame rested squarely on my shoulders. DUH! Of course you are going to gain weight when you go from running 5 miles a day and chasing 2 little boys around to sitting on the couch munching on chips and dip. I know that exercise is the key for me and that I really need to start exercising to see this weight drop off.
I went to the Doctor last night for the lower abdomen pain and he started me on a round of antibiotics because his initial thought is that it is either a bladder infection or an inflammation of the colon. He did assure me that it had absolutely nothing to do with the green tea that I’ve been drinking and he told me to keep drinking the green tea because it is very good for you. I should’ve exercised last night but used the excuse that I’m sick to not crawl on the treadmill. I also called off work today because it hurts to sit and I’m very uncomfortable at work. I feel like I have a rock in my abdomen.
While lying in bed this morning (right after the running dream) I still had my eyes closed and was remembering the feeling I used to experience – the euphoria from running. So I started clicking back through my memories to when I started running and distinctly remember that when I started I couldn’t even run a mile and hated every minute of it. I didn’t think that I would ever run 5 miles a day and like it. Somehow, without my actually realizing it, I was running every day and even worked it into my schedule when we went on vacation (ever ran through Las Vegas- I have?)
I think that I’m going to actually schedule my treadmill time and allow myself 10 minutes of meditation right before I hop on the treadmill so that I can remember what it felt like, all those years ago, to be addicted to running. This post is mostly so that I can look back at it on those days that I don't feel like running and remind myself that if I keep it up some day I will be addicted to running again.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Well I managed to NOT exercise AGAIN last night besides 40 leg lifts (each leg). My excuse was because my abdomen on the left side was hurting. It is a rather weird pain and goes all the way through to my back. I initially thought it might be from all of the green tea that I have been consuming but didn’t have any after lunch yesterday and still had pain so it probably isn’t the tea. I have a rather high tolerance for pain so I’m unable to judge when something is just a normal pain or when it is something serious. It did hurt badly enough last night to cause me to lose my appetite so I didn’t eat any dinner. I got a call into the Doctor to discuss it with him and see if he wants me to come in. What the hell am I saying of course he will want me to come in he bought his wife a new BMW for Christmas. MEH! Probably still should’ve jumped on the treadmill and attempted it. Even if I only ran for 10 minutes it would’ve been 10 minutes more exercise than I got.
Did get to discuss our evening routine with the Mister and we are going to shake things up a bit. Currently the Mister gives smallest child a bath and I get her to sleep. Since I get up at 5am to get middle child to swim practice by 5:30 this means that I usually fall asleep on smallest child’s floor while trying to coax her into dreamland. Told the Mister that it really would help me if we could switch – meaning I would give Princess her bath and the Mister could fall asleep on her floor *ahem* I mean get her to go to sleep. Doing this would allow me to clean up the kitchen, step on the treadmill and get anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour workout, shower and still get into bed by 10:30 p.m. When I fall asleep on her floor, even if the Mister wakes me up, I’m too groggy to even attempt exercise and usually just crawl into our room, on hands and knees, and get in bed.
The strange thought that popped into my head this morning was “Maybe it is a cyst or tumor in my abdomen causing all of this pain and I can lose some more weight when they remove it”. Sometimes I scare myself.
Gonna have to get my big ole ass in gear if I really want to lose 24 lbs by the end of April so I can be a hot babe on the beach with my other blogger friends.
Did get to discuss our evening routine with the Mister and we are going to shake things up a bit. Currently the Mister gives smallest child a bath and I get her to sleep. Since I get up at 5am to get middle child to swim practice by 5:30 this means that I usually fall asleep on smallest child’s floor while trying to coax her into dreamland. Told the Mister that it really would help me if we could switch – meaning I would give Princess her bath and the Mister could fall asleep on her floor *ahem* I mean get her to go to sleep. Doing this would allow me to clean up the kitchen, step on the treadmill and get anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour workout, shower and still get into bed by 10:30 p.m. When I fall asleep on her floor, even if the Mister wakes me up, I’m too groggy to even attempt exercise and usually just crawl into our room, on hands and knees, and get in bed.
The strange thought that popped into my head this morning was “Maybe it is a cyst or tumor in my abdomen causing all of this pain and I can lose some more weight when they remove it”. Sometimes I scare myself.
Gonna have to get my big ole ass in gear if I really want to lose 24 lbs by the end of April so I can be a hot babe on the beach with my other blogger friends.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Mind Games
I’ve been having some rather weird random thoughts lately about weight loss endeavors. Well that’s not entirely true as pretty much ALL of my thoughts are weird. Here are the ones I remember:
1. Wonder how much weight I could lose if I cut my hair (my hair is thick and long)?
2. If I eat that chocolate cake and then take some ex-lax does it negate the calories from the cake?
3. Should I pay cash for that Ex-Lax so that it doesn’t pop up in someone’s database that I’m abusing Ex-Lax?
4. Am I cheating by weighing first thing in the morning (neked) when years ago I used to weigh right before working out which was right after dinner fully dressed?
5. Should I try a weight loss patch or pill?
6. Wonder if I could lie and get my insurance to cover lap-banding?
Ok, before anyone panics and calls me rude names the lap-banding is definitely out of the question. I’m afraid of needles and going under the knife is not something I could do. Plus I think that with only 41 lbs to lose it would be the chicken way out. Before you start throwing knives at me just let me say that I think lap-banding has a place in this world and should definitely be an available option for people who are morbidly obese or who have been overweight all of their life. The thing is that while I’m fat I haven’t always been fat and I know what it feels like to not be fat and exactly what I need to do (besides the “I Don’t Want To Be Fat Anymore” food plan).
Exercise.
I need to exercise and frankly (no my name isn’t Frank) I haven’t been exercising like I should. Yeah, yeah the 60 leg lifts I did last night count but cardio is what I really need. My excuses are (and YES they are just that excuses)
1. My iPod broke.
2. My treadmill has a lose screw on one side and is rather shaky when I grab the hand thangie.
3. I have a small child at home and after I wrestle her to sleep it is usually 9pm
4. blah, blah, blah!
The thing is that a blogger friend of mine called and wants me to join her and a bunch of other blogger friends for a Holiday at the end of April. At the beach. I actually sat down and figured that losing a lb a week I could lose an additional 12 lbs before I go. 12 lbs would put me down to 169 which is entirely acceptable but I also know that if I got this big, fat, old, lazy butt of mine in gear I probably could lose an additional 24 lbs before the end of April.
Maybe this is the motivation that I needed.
Oh yeah – the green tea thing from yesterday’s post – not doing that anymore as it royally fucked up my bladder. I thought I was ovulating x10 and peed about 14 times just to relieve the pressure. Didn’t drink any green tea last night and felt fine. Then this morning I had a cup of green tea and about an hour later the whole pain of passing my left ovary out of my body started happening again.
Weird stuff I’m telling you!
1. Wonder how much weight I could lose if I cut my hair (my hair is thick and long)?
2. If I eat that chocolate cake and then take some ex-lax does it negate the calories from the cake?
3. Should I pay cash for that Ex-Lax so that it doesn’t pop up in someone’s database that I’m abusing Ex-Lax?
4. Am I cheating by weighing first thing in the morning (neked) when years ago I used to weigh right before working out which was right after dinner fully dressed?
5. Should I try a weight loss patch or pill?
6. Wonder if I could lie and get my insurance to cover lap-banding?
Ok, before anyone panics and calls me rude names the lap-banding is definitely out of the question. I’m afraid of needles and going under the knife is not something I could do. Plus I think that with only 41 lbs to lose it would be the chicken way out. Before you start throwing knives at me just let me say that I think lap-banding has a place in this world and should definitely be an available option for people who are morbidly obese or who have been overweight all of their life. The thing is that while I’m fat I haven’t always been fat and I know what it feels like to not be fat and exactly what I need to do (besides the “I Don’t Want To Be Fat Anymore” food plan).
Exercise.
I need to exercise and frankly (no my name isn’t Frank) I haven’t been exercising like I should. Yeah, yeah the 60 leg lifts I did last night count but cardio is what I really need. My excuses are (and YES they are just that excuses)
1. My iPod broke.
2. My treadmill has a lose screw on one side and is rather shaky when I grab the hand thangie.
3. I have a small child at home and after I wrestle her to sleep it is usually 9pm
4. blah, blah, blah!
The thing is that a blogger friend of mine called and wants me to join her and a bunch of other blogger friends for a Holiday at the end of April. At the beach. I actually sat down and figured that losing a lb a week I could lose an additional 12 lbs before I go. 12 lbs would put me down to 169 which is entirely acceptable but I also know that if I got this big, fat, old, lazy butt of mine in gear I probably could lose an additional 24 lbs before the end of April.
Maybe this is the motivation that I needed.
Oh yeah – the green tea thing from yesterday’s post – not doing that anymore as it royally fucked up my bladder. I thought I was ovulating x10 and peed about 14 times just to relieve the pressure. Didn’t drink any green tea last night and felt fine. Then this morning I had a cup of green tea and about an hour later the whole pain of passing my left ovary out of my body started happening again.
Weird stuff I’m telling you!
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