Weight loss

I have another blog that is about my life and daily musings but currently have so many people that I interact with over there that I’m not comfortable posting my weight loss struggle on it. Sad – isn’t it? That I’m not comfortable discussing my weight-loss struggles or weight issues in general with my online imaginary friends. Not that they are all imaginary because I have met several of them in “real” life and have plans to meet several more next month. I wonder what picture they have of me in their heads and if the real me will disappoint them.

Disappoint – huh.

Isn’t it sad to think that I associate being overweight with people being disappointed in me? I’m disappointed in myself! Have been thinking for a while about starting a weight loss blog because it would give me some accountability. I would be accountable to my weight loss blog to face the truth and post my current weight and any and all attempts and endeavors to lose said excessive baggage.

Excessive baggage – wouldn’t you just like to leave that at the bus stop like a fake bomb! It would be funny to see the bomb squad move in and detonate the bag and realize that it was only 50 lbs of fat. Reminds me of the time, years ago, that Oprah wheeled out 40 lbs of fat in a wagon on her show – fat to represent what she had lost. I think Oprah looks better now than she ever did but I also think she is in a healthier place both emotionally and mentally regardless of her dress size.

It will also give me a chance to discuss and try to get to the root of the weight issues that have plagued me (and now my sister) most of my life. My family knows about my other blog and I have to be careful about posting anything sensitive over there that might hurt my mom’s feelings. My mom is the basis for my weight issues. I see that now but don’t want to bring it to her attention and accuse her because she likes to remain in her fantasy world surrounded by fairytales and flutterbys.

I’m fat - I’m tired of the fantasy and I’m tired of the secrets.

**deep breath**

I’m a 41 yr old female and weigh 189 lbs as of 5am today. Lets see what I can do about it!