Just For Today!

I was talking to an old friend this morning, well old in the fact that yes he is old and also that I’ve know him for a long, long time. I’ve know him longer than I’ve know my husband. We got to talking about this whole “I Don’t Want to be Fat Anymore” food plan that I’m on and the need to throw real regular exercise in the mix because I will plateau at some point. He asked me how much I want to lose and when I said 40 lbs – he said “Wow, that much?” “I don’t think you need to lose that much”.

**insert manic giggling here**

He knew me before. Before my thyroid crapped out and went on hiatus. Before I divorced and remarried. Before I gained almost 70 lbs. Before I had my 3rd child. Before I turned in to the snarky, well curved woman that stands before you today. Ok, ok, the snarkiness has always been here but before everything else I mentioned. He actually said “What did you weigh before? Because I thought you were too thin before and could stand to gain 10 pounds. I think you are just right now.”.

He made me feel good for a minute.

But just for a minute. I thought back to ancient times when I weighed 130 pounds and don’t remember ever thinking that I was thin. Actually I remember the fat hanging off of my body. I remember my size 7 jeans fitting a little too tight at times. I remember when I compared myself to others that I didn’t quite measure up or rather measure down or measure small enough or whatever measuring cup you choose to use.

Funny?

My goal is 140 lbs but I’m wondering if that is a realistic goal since I’m 5’8” and am now in my 40’s (early 40’s). So, while I’m going to keep my tracker at the top of this page to reflect 140 lbs I think that I’m just going to eat right (most of the time) and exercise and let my body decide at what weight it needs to settle at. It is a rather uncertain goal but I think that I will just know when I reach a weight that I’m comfortable with (and right now it would be practically ANYTHING under 180). I’m going to try and not focus on the numbers nearly as much as I do the whole “get your body healthy girl” thangie that is going on.

So for today, and it will likely change tomorrow or early next week, I’m comfortable with the changes I’ve made already. I’m comfortable with the 9.5 lbs lost so far. I’m comfortable passing up that piece of cheesecake and I’m comfortable just plugging along with my new food plan. Even if I don’t obtain that 140 lb carrot hanging out there somewhere in front of me the changes I have made so far are good changes and I’m much healthier than I was 2 months ago.

So to all the people out here in blogland who are trying to lose weight I lift my low-fat virgin daiquiri and sip to your health and happiness.